I come from one of those families where all of your cousins and your brothers and sisters and all of your tias and tios treat you as if you are one of their own. I am blessed to have both parents in my life. They were high school sweethearts and have fought for their relationship and family ever since. If there is one thing that I have learned from their struggle, it is the importance of family.
Over the generations, the sanctity of family bonds has slowly deteriorated. Divorce, broken homes, and single parents have, sadly, all become the norm in society. My intentions for writing this piece are not to explain or describe how a family should be or what it should consist of, but rather to explain how I was raised and the importance of those values for me and individuals like me. Growing up, many friends and outsiders could not understand the way my family worked. Just to be clear, I am speaking about my entire family, not just my immediate family as I had previously mentioned.
Yo vengo de una de esas familias en las que todos tus primos son tus hermanos y hermanas y todos tus tíos te tratan como si fueras uno de sus hijos. Yo he sido muy bendecida porque mis dos padres son parte de mi vida. Ellos se hicieron novios en la preparatoria y han luchado para defender su relación y su familia desde entonces. Si algo he aprendido yo de su lucha, es la importancia de la familia.
A través de las generaciones, la santidad de los lazos familiares se ha deteriorado lentamente. El divorcio, los hogares rotos y los padres solteros se han convertido en la norma dentro de la sociedad. Mi intención al escribir esta columna no es explicar o describir lo que una familia debería ser o la forma como debería estar compuesta, sino más bien para explicar cómo crecí y la importancia que esos valores tienen para mí y para las personas como yo. Durante mi niñez, muchos de mis amigos y muchas personas conocidas no podían comprender como funcionaba mi familia. Y quiero aclarar que hablo acerca de mi familia extendida y no solamente la familia inmediata, como ya había mencionado.
Every Sunday it never failed; the whole familia would get together and have the feast of all feasts: huevos rancheros, refried beans, bacon, sausage, papitas, barbacoa and, my favorite, homemade tortillas. No one could make them like my Tia Nani. Throughout college and until this day, I requested them every time I returned home so that I could take them back to Aggie-land, where my friends thought White Wings were the way tortillas were supposed to taste. Sunday breakfast was a time to catch up on what was going on in each other’s lives, even though whatever chisme (gossip) was going on throughout the week had already been relayed via phone. The women cooked, the men watched football or whatever home improvement show was on, and the kids played. There was never a dull moment on Sundays. These are some of the most memorable events I think of when it comes to my family. When I describe this to an outsider, many can not grasp the idea of what family means to me and why I cried so much when a cousin moved away. They could not understand the reason why my mom forced us to all sit at the table together and eat dinner every night or why for every special occasion- birthdays, baptisms, surgeries, hell, even straight A’s on papers or report cards- my family gathered together to unite as one.
I guess looking from the outside in, I would think it was weird if I came from a smaller family or from a family that only gathers together during the holidays and times of death. During the good times and bad we were and are always there for each other. Granted, sometimes it was a little embarrassing to know that whatever was going on in your personal life was usually being talked about amongst the entire clan; but, at the end of the day, break ups, slip ups, bad choices, or embarrassing moments all did not seem to matter. I knew as well as every other individual in my family that no matter what, we were going to be at each other’s side supporting and guiding one another through our journey in life.
Fortunately, I am one of many who have had the opportunity to experience this special bond, if only every individual in this world could be exposed to it as well.
The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Angelica Lopez.
Angelica is a fighter for keeping family bonds and pursuing the “American Dream”. Born in Houston, but raised in Rosenberg, TX, she graduated from Texas A&M University and moved to San Antonio to pursue a career. Sticking to what she does best, she has pursued a career in public relations, where getting in the mix and meeting diverse crowds are only at her finger tips.
Todos los domingos, era una regla; la familia completa se reunía y se celebraba una gran fiesta. Había huevos rancheros, frijoles refritos, tocino, salchicha, papitas, barbacoa y lo mejor de todo, tortillas hechas en casa. Nadie las podía hacer como mi tía Nani. Cuando estaba en la universidad y aún hasta ahora, yo las pedía cada vez que venía a casa para llevarlas conmigo de regreso a la tierra de los Aggies donde mis amigos pensaban que las tortillas debían saber a White Wings (harina). El desayuno del domingo era la oportunidad para ponerse al tanto de lo que pasaba en las vidas de los demás, a pesar de que cualquier chisme acerca de cualquier miembro de la familia ya había sido comunicado a todos por teléfono. Las mujeres cocinaban, los hombres veían el juego de fútbol o cualquiera de esos programas que muestran cómo remodelar la casa, y los niños jugaban. Nadie se aburría los domingos. Esos son algunos de los momentos más memorables que tengo de mi familia. Cuando describo esto a alguien, no pueden entender lo que mi familia significa para mí o la razón por la que lloré tanto cuando un primo se fue a vivir a otra parte. No pueden entender la razón por la cual mi madre nos obligaba a sentarnos juntos a la mesa todas las noches para la cena o porqué en cada ocasión especial – cumpleaños, bautizos, cirugías, vaya, hasta una buena calificación, toda la familia se reunía.
Yo creo que visto desde afuera, si yo viniera de una familia pequeña o una que solo se reúne durante los días festivos o cuando alguien muere, me parecería extraño. Nosotros siempre estamos juntos, tanto en las duras como en las maduras. Cierto, a veces me daba pena saber que cualquier cosa que estuviese sucediendo en tu vida privada estaba generalmente siendo comentada por todo el clan, pero a fin de cuentas los errores, las malas elecciones, la ruptura de alguna relación, los momentos embarazosos no parecían importar. Yo sabía, al igual que todos los miembros de mi familia que, no importa lo que fuera, íbamos todos a estar juntos, apoyándonos y guiándonos unos a otros durante toda nuestra vida.
Afortunadamente, yo soy uno de muchos que han tenido la oportunidad de experimentar este vínculo tan especial. Ojalá y todos en el mundo pudiesen experimentarlo también!
Angelica lucha por conservar los lazos familiares y buscar el “Sueño Americano”. Nacida en Houston, pasó su infancia en Rosenberg, TX, se graduó de la Universidad Texas A & M y se mudó a San Antonio para hacer su carrera. Fiel a lo que hace mejor, ella ha hecho carrera en relaciones públicas, donde es posible integrarse a la mezcla y conocer multitudes diversas.
January 21st, 2010 at 1:03 pm
It’s fascinating to know that families like yours really do exist…I applaud you for your committment, dedication and love for strong family bonds…Your article was very well written and interesting to read, thank you…
January 21st, 2010 at 4:22 pm
My family is the exact same way, and like you, I wouldn’t have it any other way! It’s great that you embrace your family being such an important aspect of your life, and know that they have shaped you into the person you are today.
January 21st, 2010 at 4:30 pm
My momma don’t cook. I’m gonna crash your family gatherings. You’re dirty, btw… which would make me dirty too. Dirty Berg for life.
January 22nd, 2010 at 7:34 am
I was raised by a single mom, I’m an only child. Now I’m married with four children. Unfortunately, both sides of our families don’t live in the same state as us. We make it a point to eat 95% of our meals together. Your description of Sundays at your house sounds so movie-like to me. I hope you are able to continue that for your children. What a happy essay about familia.